Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Funny Thing For This Week


Hello everyone.....today I would like to discuss the art of dieting and exercise. Ah.....losing weight...so worth it...(in the end) #1 dieting....you wake up in the morning and say.."I am not eating anything today......" yeah right. Until it rolls around to lunch time....and instead of having the wonderful steak you made yesterday........you little voice says....."eat it!!!....eat it." On the other hand...."no! what about my weight loss commitment?" UUUUUGGGHHHHH!! "Is there no mercy????!!!????" #2 Exercise..........you have all the equipment ready...including a video. You put in the video and a perky and annoyingly perfect woman comes on and says...."are you ready?"....... You're thinking......"Well, she's gonna get annoying really quick." She continues........."OK......lay on your side on your mat and lift your right leg over your head. OK.......so what shes really saying......"lay down on the rock hard floor, and attempt to lift your right leg up that you can't even see over your Mount Everest love handle. #3 Continuing the exercise video............ After the longest 30 grueling minutes of leg lifting..(well at least leg collapsing) the woman on the video is perfect.....her hair hasn't moved....there's not a drop of sweat anywhere, and she's breathing regularly. However your hair looks like you got electrocuted, you are absolutely sopping wet, like you have just come in from a monsoon, and you are using inhaler's and paper bags just to get breathing again. #4......After your horrible day of exercise....its dinner time!!! Oh boy there is nothing like a succulent, juicy, flavorful, delightful, .................................celery stick. #5 The next day....it starts all over again...the annoying woman, absolutely no food to speak of......and the flies dieing from being around you.........a friend comes over for dinner and brings candy, cookies, and a three course meal. "I can't what about all that I've done.." and you look at the food....."eat....food......MUST EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" You tackle your friend to the floor grab all of the food and absolutely scarf it down! "What about your diet?" she asks. "I'll start on Monday." Thank you.

1 comment:

  1. Amy, how I wish you had a sense of humor... I always wanted a daughter that could make me laugh and you are... oh, so blah (NOT!)! It never fails to amaze me what your sense of humor can do. As a parent, I am doomed to always see you as that blonde, spastic little girl that used to run around the house and giving her sisters fits all along the way~~ you'll always be the one who said, "Can I pet her?" when your little sister was born (like she was a new pet for us to take home). Before my very eyes you have grown into a beautiful young woman... and when did THAT happen? The answer: in the blink of an eye. In spite of my efforts as your Dad, you have also grown into a wonderful lady that loves the Lord, sings like a bird and desires the most sacred calling for your life: wife and mother. Your personality, talents, humor and desire to be with your family are going to not only turn the head of your future husband... but will likely make him trip all over himself trying to win your heart. I know that I don't say it nearly enough (though we do have this exchange daily), I do love you very much and couldn't be more proud of who you are and are to become. You're a princess, a treasure and "force of nature"... and I'll aways love you and be your "Daddy".

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