Funny Thing For This Week

Hello again ladies and gentlemen......today I am talking about a very important topic for today. The art of...............garage saling. Ahhh garage saling.......whether you are having one, or looking for the best bargain, these are the 'Do's and Don'ts' for garage saling. #1: when one is selling something such as a twin bed sized blanket for about $5.00....(which is OK) but when it looks like it has been malled by a pack of ravaging wolves and has enough holes in it to be used as a fish net......it shouldn't even be in the 'Free' box. #2: When you are having a garage sale, people can tell when it is your first one when you are selling everything from 1970 on. #3: When you go to a sale and the tables are full of everything but the clothes they are wearing, such as decapitated barbie dolls, a shirt that grandma moses threw away, a "brand new tooth brush", (yikes) trinkets, a phone from 1903 with only the ear piece.....just walk away......#4: When you are having a sale of your own and someone has a question about lets say a blanket that has some wear and a couple of stains.....you say..."well the stain is very easily removed and we don't own any pets.." what you don't say is..." yeah, two of my kids threw up on it, we took it to use on our picnic, where my son rolled his sister in it and dropped her down a ravine.We own two great Danes, cute little things, they played 'tug a war' and the looser fell in our pond with the blanket. I folded it up and we used it for a door mat for a while, and when I couldn't do laundry I dried the kids off with it and then we kept it in the dog house for a while. even though it was hard, we finally decided to part with it. ...........*crickets* .........The woman drops the blanket and sprints to the car in horror and drives away. #5: Finally, you go to a sale and you walk by a doll you give it a split second glance and make a gross face. A older woman comes to you and says, " I got'er in 19.......uhh..49 I think and she is part of a collectors addition, she's in pretty good shape".....Then you look at the doll again.......one eye is gone, herleft arm is hanging off, she's wearing a chewed up hat, one shoe that looked like someone had ketchup on it, her hair is jaggedly cut on one side and its naked. You calmly say without bursting out in laughter,........"uuhhh, I'll think about it......" You go to your car, shut the door and burst into uncontrollable laughter. The old lady looks at you in the car and talks to her old friend and says......" That's the third person today that's laughed at my shirt."......................Thank you everyone!